Aries Man Doesn’t Want a Relationship – Now What?

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
Are you dating an Aries but cannot figure out why he won't commit to you? Here are some reasons an Aries man may not want to commit (yet).

There are certain signs who are more wild and free than others, and without a doubt, an Aries man is certainly that. This sign just wants independence, freedom, and autonomy. 

It is common to hear that an Aries man does not want commitment, and for the most part this is true. These guys struggle to settle down to commit to any girl, especially if she isn’t the one. 

It takes a very special someone to make the cogs turn in an Aries man’s head. This guy is looking for a love that is extraordinary, someone who can drive him crazy and make him open to love like nobody else can. 

And an Aries man knows that this kind of love is extremely rare. It isn’t something that just comes by that often. This is why an Aries man will always struggle to commit to you because he thinks something better might be on the way. It is his restlessness that really gets in the way of his ultimate happiness.

Are you seeing an Aries man and is he struggling to commit to you in a relationship? Is this what you want from him? There may be many factors why an Aries man won’t commit to you… Keen to find out more? Then keep on reading to learn why an Aries man doesn’t want a relationship.

Aries Men And Commitment

An Aries man and commitment really don’t go that well together. The last thing an Aries man wants is a cage, to feel trapped, and like his freedom is being snatched away from him. 

This is often what relationships feel like to him. Like he is losing control of every bit of independence he once had and that it is all just going to be taken away from him if he enters into a relationship and commitment is expected of him. 

Don’t get me wrong, when the right woman comes along, it will be incredibly easy for Aries to commit to her. At an Aries man’s core, he is extremely loyal, especially to those he loves and cares for. 

When an Aries man falls in love, he will do absolutely anything and everything for this woman. Commitment will become second nature to him. The thing you need to remember about an Aries man is that he will never settle for anyone or anything.

And this is why he tends to choose his partners carefully. He might rush into flings and short-term relationships, but when it comes to serious commitment, this is something he definitely doesn’t take lightly.

Aries Man Commitment Issues – Why Do They Struggle With Commitment?

1. An Aries Man Feels Pressured

Something that is absolutely a no-no when it comes to an Aries man is trying to force them to commit before they are ready. They may not move as slowly as some of the other signs, but he may not want to move fast either.

It depends on his level of comfort, his maturity, and whatever baggage he may have from the past to determine how ready he is to commit. He’ll let you know if he isn’t ready.

So if he lets you know and you keep trying to push him; he’ll start pulling back or acting out toward you. So even though you may think you need to have him commit quickly; you may want to hold off a bit.

It’s important for him to feel as though he’s really ready or otherwise he could dive in and then quickly regret it. You would also regret it because he’d be hot and heavy then suddenly he’s done with you.

Be careful and try not to push the Aries man into doing anything he isn’t comfortable with doing. Let him figure out the pace he wants to go and it’ll work out better for you both.

2. An Aries Man Becomes Bored

Aries men like to be hunters by nature. They are alpha type males that want to feel as though they’re working toward something that they’ll get a prize for. He will see dating the same way.

If he seems to have lost that feeling of being able to chase you then you’ve possibly given him too much up front and now he feels he’s already gotten the prize and is complacent.

He always has to feel as though he’s chasing you or he’ll never be happy with what he’s got. Truly to maintain a long term relationship with an Aries man; you’ll always have to keep secrets for him to figure out.

If he knows everything about you and has already had you in every possible way in bed; he’ll become bored and uninterested. This makes him not want to form a commitment with you as he already knows who you are.

As shallow as this may seem; this is how he operates. This is why it’s so important to maintain the chase with him otherwise; he’ll give up and you’ll never get what you want from him.

3. An Aries Man Has Issues From The Past

No matter the sign; some men just cannot get past some traumatizing event they may have experienced in their past. Not all men can get up and go at it again without worry.

Aries men are rather stubborn also so this plays into the equation. If he has experienced true heartbreak that has placed some walls up with him; you may have a hard time tearing those down.

This will take time, patience, and great care. You won’t be able to force him to take the walls down for you. So if you’re involved with a guy that is dealing with past pain; you’re going to go through it with him.

If your Aries love interest has been recently dumped, suffered a divorce or rejection, or had a life trauma such as a family member passing away, then you can bet he’s scared of commitment because he’s in pain. (it’s his way of making sure he won’t get hurt again)

An Aries man in pain can be aggressive, inconsiderate, and self-absorbed to the extreme.

When he’s in this phase, my advice is to stay away for now. He needs some time to get over his pain. You can still be available to hang out with, but be careful of investing yourself until he’s stabilized.

You don’t want to be the rebound woman or his band-aid.

Unless you’re hopelessly in love with him and willing to wait him out; you may want to move on. He’s not going to give in easily as he’s not ready to jump into something and get hurt like that again.

If you want to make sure you’re doing all the right things, and want to avoid second-guessing yourself or your connection, I strongly suggest you take a look at my 30-day Love Challenge with an Aries man. It will guide you day by day towards a more committed, loving relationship.

4. He’s Still Playing the Field

Aries men, like everyone else, go through single and commitment phases. If you catch him at the start of his “playing the field” phase, it can be hard for him to break free of it until he’s truly ready. He may just be looking to explore as many women as he can, and this can be painful for you.

What should you do if you suspect this is the case? Don’t be too available. He doesn’t want a woman he can “conquer” too easily. Be a little bit out of reach!  He may be avoiding commitment with you because you’re just too attainable.

5. He Doesn’t Feel Like He’s In Charge

Aries men are Alpha males. He needs to feel like he is in charge of this relationship, that you are, in many ways, his little lady he needs to protect from the world. Of course, you can be independent and powerful, he admires that, but if you are walking all over him, he will just not be into you.

This could be a very valid reason for his lack of commitment, even if you don’t think so. So, what do you do?

Well, it’s up to you. You can tone down your more dominant side and let him take care of you and run around after you – but if that doesn’t feel right, then never change yourself for any man, even the sexy Aries guy!

6. He Has Other Adventures He Needs To Have

Aries is one of the most adventurous signs of the Zodiac. He loves to be outdoors – to get his adrenaline going by having wild adventures! He may be the type that buys a big car and heads off to drive across Africa, or buys a motorbike and travels the world.

If he’s in this phase of his life, it’s next it impossible to get him to commit, unless you are the type of woman who is happy to wait around for him while he galivants all over the show. And that takes a special connection – he will love for you to wait, of course!

His other adventure may also simply be his career – if he’s in that phase of major building, you may take second place. Again, it’s up to you if you’re okay with that.

Aries Man Doesn’t Want a Relationship – What Might Be His Other Secret Reasons?

An Aries Man Doesn’t Share Your Feelings 

There is always that possibility that the Aries man just isn’t as into you as you are into him. He may think you’re a great person and has fun with you but doesn’t see you as future wife or partner material.

He’ll have his own reasons and unless you ask him; he may not volunteer what those may be. If you’re in doubt about what he’s looking for or not looking for; it’s best you just go ahead and ask him.

If he isn’t inviting you to meet his friends or family; you are probably not important enough for him to want to forge a future with. Those are the biggest tell tale signs with him.

When he’s ready to become committed to a woman; he’ll have no problem taking her home to meet his family and closer friends. He figures she’ll be in his life for a long while if not forever so it’s time.

If all you ever get is alone time with him or with your friends; then you are NOT his girlfriend. I cannot stress this enough. He may say you are and may go through the motions but if he hasn’t taken you home; you are not his girlfriend.

If he’s including you in his other plans, you’re on a great path. Want to make sure his yours and yours only? Check this out to make sure he falls crazy in love with you in just 30 days.

An Aries Man Cares What His Friends Think

Aries will only admit that you are his girlfriend if he takes you home. There is no other way for them. They will not want to bring someone whom they are casually dating around those they love most.

This might mean that he could be ashamed of being seen with you for some reason. There is a reason he is hiding you and this is not good. You deserve a lot more than a man who isn’t proud of you. 

You should really take a step back and think about why you are allowing someone to treat you like this. Who cares what his friends think? He shouldn’t, that is for sure!

5 Tips to Flip Things Around When an Aries man is Avoiding Commitment

Whatever the reason is that he’s avoiding commitment, there are ways to get into this man’s heart.

The thing is, Aries men are innocents. It’s not all that difficult to wiggle your way into his heart. It doesn’t have to be manipulative, either. In fact, my tips are far more empowering than tricky!

Here are my top tips for flipping things around when an Aries man is avoiding commitment:

1. Let Him Take the Lead

Aries Men are born to lead. They are pioneers and pursuers.

Let him take the lead in this relationship—even when it comes to commitment. If you try to force him into being your boyfriend or husband, he will pull back.

Fight the temptation to force it!

That doesn’t mean you can’t be honest with him about what you want in a relationship. You can be frank straightway, which he will find very refreshing. Just don’t force him into anything. Give it time, and if he doesn’t step up, walk away and lead your own life.

2. Be a Little Bit Unattainable

Aries men love women they have to chase. He loves to win over a woman—he wants to feel as if you’re a prize that no one else can win but him.

When he sees that you’re not easy to “conquer,” he will want to make you his.

3. Embrace Your Independence

This is a man who loves and commits to a woman who’s independent, successful, and strong. He wants someone who can keep up with him, and he sees himself in a lifelong relationship with someone who is going to challenge him to be his best self.

When you focus on your sense of independence—your friends, your job, your interests—he will want to be the person to steal your attention away from these things sometimes. But only sometimes!

4. Be High-Value

What is a high-value woman? Someone who knows her worth. Who doesn’t act on her insecurity (even if she feels it!). A woman who says what she wants and isn’t prepared to compromise on it.

If you say that you’re not settling for anything less than marriage or a man who is your equal financially, that will mean something to him. He will want to make you his prize!

5. Have a “Take It or Leave It” Attitude

Aries men go absolutely bananas when a woman has a sexy “take it or leave it” attitude!

That means you’ve got to—as much as you may find it a struggle—make him think you don’t need him but want him.

His competitive side will be triggered, and he will want to show you how much of a catch he is! Instead of avoiding commitment, he will come rushing in, trying to prove himself to you—to show you he’s worthy.

If you’re struggling to make your Aries man commit, I strongly recommend checking out my 30-day Aries Man Love Challenge… It will set you on the right path with your hot Aries guy. 😉

7 Signs to Know He’s Committed

How do you actually know when an Aries Man is committed? Are there some sure-fire signs to watch out for? Yes, absolutely there are! Commitment can mean different things to every man—different ways of expression and different feelings.

It’s good to remember that Aries is a fire sign, and for these men, action equals love. No words, no promises, no gifts will show you his commitment more than his actions. These are some of the ways in which an Aries man will show his commitment to you.

1. He Will Come To Your Rescue

Need a tire changed? Your printer fixed? Want to buy a new car? Your Aries knight will swoop in when he’s committed and solve all these problems for you and more.

He would never want his queen to have to deal with these tedious things. He is there to rescue you—you are his damsel!

2. He Won’t Leave You Alone

When an Aries man is truly committed, he will pester you and be at your doorstep just as often as he can. He’ll basically bubble over in his enthusiasm for you—you are the bee’s knees!

You’ll never get a moment for yourself, and the more you brush him off, the more he will chase you!

3. He’ll Do Anything For You

An Aries man, when truly committed, will literally do anything for you. He will slay any dragon, tackle any task, and prove to you how much he adores you. These men are totally devoted to showing you through their actions what you mean to them.

In fact, they want you to give them a challenge to prove their love (though not all the time!).

4. He Can’t Keep His Hands Off You

Aries men typically have high libidos—if you haven’t noticed that already! When he’s committed to you, he will think you are the most desirable woman who has ever existed, and he will not be able to keep his paws off you.

He’ll want to get physical all the time, even to the point of annoyance—so don’t be shy in telling him when you need a breather!

5. He Texts Back Fast

When an Aries man has decided you’re his lady, he will text you back at light speed! He’ll seldom leave you waiting, even if it’s a quick heart emoticon or a few XOs. He’ll expect the same in return, so best you get your texting skills up to speed!

6. He’s Possessive

Aries men can be very possessive. It’s not because they’re insecure—far from it—but because you “belong” to him, and he is the “winner” over all the other potential men who obviously want what he has.

Flirt, and watch him puff up his chest and compete with the man who caught your eye. He’ll only care that he is better, stronger, faster, and in all ways more of a man than others!

7. He Sacrifices His Guy Time For You

Aries men love their boys’ nights! They love having a few beers with their friends, dancing the night away, and being with their “pack.”

If an Aries man starts allowing date nights with you to be balanced with his guys’ nights, you know you have his heart! He’ll never give up his friend time—nor should he, or you!—but if he wants to spend time with you before his boys, you know you are his one and only!

Can An Aries Man Truly Commit?

Absolutely! There is a side to an Aries man that loves the idea of commitment and loyalty. He wants to fight for his woman, adore her, and worship her for as long as he possibly can. 

For the right woman, an Aries man can certainly commit and make a serious change in his lifestyle. Sure, he’ll still be adventurous and need his freedom, but the right girl will give this to him. 

This is why an Aries man will never settle and just go for what is available to him because he knows that somewhere, someone can give him exactly what he needs in his relationship, and he is willing to wait for it, and so should you. 

If an Aries man is messing you about and doesn’t give you the same kind of love in return, then he definitely isn’t worth the effort or your time. You should definitely rethink what it is he is actually offering you, because if it is nothing, then you should definitely leave. 

You should be able to see any of these red flags and identify with any of them. If it’s any of these reasons; you’ll have to consider your approach and what you want.

If it’s a matter of past pain, you may want to stick with him through it until he lets you in. If it’s that he’s not feeling the chase anymore; you could try to find a way to excite him again and get him in “the hunt”.

It’s just how they operate and it will upset their moral standing to do it any other way. It may be best for you to learn the Aries man’s desires, likes, and dislikes.

Is Your Aries Man (Still) Avoiding Commitment?

Does your Aries man seem to be hesitant or reluctant when it comes to committing to a relationship?

Does he avoid talking about the future or making plans with you?

Have you felt frustrated and unsure about where you stand with him?

If so, then he might have commitment issues that stem from his past experiences.

He could be afraid of losing his independence or getting hurt if he’s avoidant…

Or he could be seeking perfection and wanting to make sure you’re the perfect match if he’s anxious…

But in either case, it can leave you feeling confused and uncertain about the future of your relationship.

Understanding his thought process and emotional triggers is key to getting him to commit to you.

Thankfully, there is a simple system to truly understand how he ticks based on his astrology.

With this system, you’ll learn how to communicate with him effectively, get him to open up about his fears, and ultimately create a deeper connection that will lead to a committed relationship.

And it can be accomplished in only 30 days.

So no more feeling frustrated and unsure about where you stand with him…

No more waiting around for him to make a move…

And no more wondering what you’re doing wrong.

→ Go here now to turn things around with your Aries man in 30 days or less.

With this program, you’ll gain the knowledge and confidence to create the loving and committed relationship you’ve been longing for.

Don’t let commitment issues continue to hold your relationship back. Take action now and start building the future you deserve.

Best of luck to you,

Your sister and relationship astrologer,


About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

14 thoughts on “Aries Man Doesn’t Want a Relationship – Now What?

  1. Hi, I’ve been dating with my Aries man over a year now and he is not ready to commit. He has been badly hurt in divorce over three years ago and just don´t let me in fully in his life. We both have kids and he has seen mine but I haven´t met his. He says he is not ready. It really bothers me. Will he ever be ready? We have a great time together but things are moving so slowly.

    1. Hi Hello!

      That sure sounds funny! I’m sorry that your Aries man doesn’t want to commit. He needs to work on himself and figure out what he wants in his life and what he wants with relationships. He is guarded and if he tells you he’s not ready then that’s what it is. Either you can be patient and wait awhile longer or you can tell him you want a relationship and if he cannot give you that then you will move forward. Yes Aries man can move slowly when they are jaded.

  2. I’ve been “dating” an Aries man who is 25 years old. I’m 28. He has been dealing with a lot of personal issues in his home life and I believe that’s causing him to shut out how he really feels about our situation. He has introduced me to his family and friends as his “girl” and this was only after a couple months of us dating. The connect between us is undeniable. In fact I just got off the phone after talking with him after 3 hours & the conversation has just left me even more confused about what we are. In the beginning we were the perfect couple. He couldn’t keep his hands off me from day one & we could talk for hours until we fell asleep on my couch or even sitting outside in my backyard. It’s been 2months since we Actually been next to each other physically and now when I talk to him it’s like he doesn’t even care about how we bonded. or in his words … we have always been “cool”. I’m so annoyed and confused & ready to throw the whole relationship away. Well now it’s always been a friendship so he says. He always makes it absolutely clear how much he cares about me but isn’t the relationship type. Even tho I have NEVER asked him for a relationship, he seem to always want to make it clear to me it isn’t going to happen. It really annoys me & sometimes hurt because what in Gods name are we doing if he sees no future with me?!?

    1. Hi Dee!

      Oh so he meant “my home girl” instead of what we think when we hear “my girl”. Eeks. He did friend zone you then without clarification which is hurtful. He wanted all the trimmings without the commitment.I am so sorry he did this. Very rude of him. Well if he sees not future with you then you need to move on and find someone that DOES see a future with you. Don’t give up on Aries though because you could find another that is amazing.

  3. I’m a Leo woman 42 that has been friends with this Aries 39 since 2017. We worked together and had a attraction, I was married and he had a gf. Recently they broke up and I got divorced. So we ended up hooking up but it was all done in secret. I hated it but I just wanted to be with him any chance I got. Then I began to see that he was messing around with someone he grew up with. My heart broke I would hardly hear from and hardly see him then he went 6 weeks with no word. I spoke my mind but I was hurt at the same time but I slept with him again knowing I shouldn’t have. I’ve had strong feelings for him for so long. I told him I loved him but he put me in the friend zone again. He said I will always have aplace In his heart and that he has love for me and that’s real. I don’t know what is real or not anymore. All I know my heart is broken. I will stay his friend but I am living my own life. I don’t know what to do but I know he’s messing with a bunch of females right now and I’m not a priority. He said he wants to come and go as he pleases with no distraction. Suck at a lost and he never opens up to me. What do I do

    1. Hi Saquahna!

      Oh man. Ok so he basically kept it a secret with you so he could keep the other woman. Ugh… friend zone is a bad sign. I’m so sorry this happened to you sweetheart. You deserve so much better. Sex is always risky with any man. Unless they make it clear they want more than that. HE wants no strings attached. I would say no and you should move on to find someone else who wants what you do.

  4. Pisces woman who’s fallen in love with an Aries man. He’s fresh out of a 4yr relationship with a 3.5yr old daughter. He said they hooked up and bang then baby. They had nothing in common and the ex now wants everything frim him. I listened and acknowledged sympathised. Laughed and had the best sex. He just told me he’s not ready to date relationships or sex. But he really dug our time together but needs to concentrate on being a dad and business. And it’s the old ” it’s not you it’s me ”
    Yes I’m really disappointed. First time i connected with someone in nearly 13yrs.
    We had so much in common. I feel it in my gut that i should wait .. but not sure what to do. He told me and showed me he really ” liked ” me. Confused ..

    1. Hi Confused Piscean!

      I am so very sorry to hear that you found an Aries at the wrong time. That’s really all this is. He’s still not shaken his baggage and until he does, he’s right… he cannot get into a relationship or be with someone. He is probably quite serious about needing to focus on being a dad and his business. It makes sense and very normal. If he did tell you and show you that he liked you then you should just be understanding and give him time otherwise you can always date other guys. It’s up to you but I think if you give him a bit of time, he will get himself in order and will give it a chance. I wish you all the best!

  5. Hi I’m a Capricorn dating an Aries man for 9 months, have met the whole family and friends. However he keeps telling me he is unsure- he is battling depression and anxiety among other health issues. I never ever put pressure on him for marriage. He’s been telling me about his anxiety toward the relationship since month 3 we just broke up because I was tired of hearing the same thing at month 9 that he is unsure about me. I read that I need to be patient but I also felt like he needed more of the opportunity to pursue me since I pursued him initially and wanted us to be off dating apps before he was really ‘ready’ do you think he will come around?

    1. Hi Lisa!

      I think that once he gets his depression and anxiety (including health issues), he’ll have a clearer vision of what he wants. Aries man with all of this on his shoulders can make him have a low self esteem thus not thinking he’s good enough for you. That’s why he is unsure. It’s more that he’s unsure about himself and what he can be to you. Patience is definitely needed for him to come around. I think there is always possibility sweetheart. It’s just whether or not you want to give him that chance. I wish you all the best!

  6. Hi Anna,
    Im an Aquarius and have been in a LDR (no label) on and off with an aries guy for 2 yrs. He told me many times he really wants me and needs me. He always initiates conversations, plan dates and would always reach out to me first whenever we argue and stop communicating with each other. The problem is I am married with 1 kid. I didnt tell him in the beginning when we met online. When he found out through my husband. we stopped talking for 3 mos. Then he came back and weve been communicating pretty much everday since then through snapchat. We see each other 3-4 times a year spending weekends together. I can feel the real connection and him genuinely wanting me. But everytime we talk about commitment, he would always pull the im married and im 6 hrs away and child custody would be an issue if i were to move. He said he would commit to me when im divorced. so i did file for divorce. but due to circumstances (grad school, weekend job, chilcare) ive decided to cancel the divorce and postpone it until i graduate (1 more year). He got upset initially and stopped talling to me for days because i didnt tell him right away i cancelled my divorce and waited until he asked me about it. He came back and said he is lonely without me and he really wants me. we continued and everything is going fine until we our recent night together. While making love he blurted out that he wants me to be his wife, he wants to marry me. I was so happy to hear them and so I confessed and told him i love him in which he said he loves me too. We said i love you’s to each other more while love making. But later on when i asked him if he meant it, he said no. He said he it was just an in the moment thing because we dont see each other enough. I was shattered. He alos brought up that i was dishonest to him about my marriage and i didnt divorce. and that he is 35, decent looking, with a good career. And he thinks what if he meets someone better. I told him we cant see each other anymore and i dont want to be with someone whos not sure about me. I turned off my location sharing with him and we havent talked for 3 days now. I am so hurt thinking that he played me that im not good enough. But theres also a part of me that felt he really did want me but I am unavaliable and was dishonest from him in the beggining that made him not want to go 100% with me. He wasnt bery vocal with feelings. But he always chased me made me feel really wanted. What do you think I should do?

  7. Hi Anna,

    I have met my soulmate. A 35 years old Aries man and I am a 24 years old cancer woman. I didn’t plan to fall for him but the first time we met we felt it and he chased me like so hard and he tried it for more than two months until I agreed to a Date. The way he still looks at me. No one ever looked at me like that. He sees something in me no one ever saw. Sex is the best and purest I have ever had. He even said I’m the best thing could ever happen to him and I know he’s complete falling for me. But there is a 3rd Party. He‘s not even a bit happy with her but is committed for 4 years already. The thing is he truly would never have cheated but I am different and it’s the way he feels with me. He also feels like the most special man with me in his arms. And to me he is. It’s just I know how much I mean to him but will he ever choose me? How long does it take making him deciding. I know he can’t stop thinking about me. He is also telling me all the time and he can’t get rid of all the thoughts he has about me. Even if I say one word he will think about the whole day. What should I do?

    1. Oh I forgot to mention that in the beginning a friend of mine, he and his girlfriend had a Date night. And he couldn’t stop looking at me and flirting with me and talking to me even if his girlfriend was next to us. He only had eyes for me and they had a fight after but it didn’t stop him from chasing me all the time.

  8. Hi I’m a 28 Gemini woman dating a 32 aries man for about 7 months now. I’m very confused. I haven’t met anyone no friends or family. We spend alot of time together go on dates and new adventures together. We are dating exclusively not other people but not in a relationship. He says his friends and family know about me but again I haven’t met anyone. He wants a relationship but hasn’t had one since his relationship with his 4 yr old daughter mom. It’s very hard for him to open up when I ask or try to encourage he says everything is fine he just doesn’t like his job. He stated he has been with any female for more than 3 months other than the relationship with the child’s mom. He said “Everyone else were flings or a fun girl but she’s something different and special with me. He’s very successful and a complete gentleman when have amazing times together so I’m on why he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend or meet anyone yet. I feel like a secret lover.

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