There are few feelings as low as feeling your partner pull away, but we’ve all been there. The questions going through your mind won’t stop… what’s he doing when I’m not around? What could be causing this?
Like always, Astrology is here to inform us on the nature of the Aries man. We can parse out the reasons for his actions by applying the core nature of the Aries man to the concern at hand. In the case of him pulling away, there are some concrete things you should avoid all together!
5 Things NOT To Do When An Aries Man Is Pulling Away
1. Reign Him In Tighter
The Aries is easily the most independent sign of the Zodiac. He doesn’t need to report his fantastic feats to anyone to feel good about himself, because his own approval is all he needs. You can imagine that these guys allow themselves to get away with a lot!
The good news is, what you may think is an Aries pulling away could just be him getting some ‘me’ time in, because Aries always prioritize themselves (for better or worse).
To attempt to sequester this wild ram’s spirit would be a fatal flaw, since no Aries will put up with that for long. In fact, they typically make it a condition of the relationship that they get their space! And if they haven’t taken this time to themselves in the past, believe me, it was high time.
If you do feel that he is pulling away for more than just a little solo time, then it’s important to remain fairly hands off. Like a wild animal, if they think you’re trying to trap them then they’ll be off in a flash.
2. Bring Up The Past
Aries men are like newborn babies (in many ways, but I’ll contain myself) in the sense that they live in the now. The future isn’t guaranteed, and the past is history in their eyes… and they don’t appreciate people making them think it’s any other way!
Aries will ask you to judge him as the person that he is now, not who he was. He identifies with who he is and, in his mind, people are not their pasts, they just are.
Perhaps as you feel him pulling away, you’re tempted to bring up how he cheated in a past relationship or something similar. Trust me, whatever this is isn’t about the past. This is about something he’s currently experiencing.
My advice is to ask him hands off questions to gauge where he’s at. Asking if he’s doing okay is key because sometimes Aries have to go out alone to lick their wounds. He may be dying to divulge something and just needs a nudge.
3. Chase Him
Have you ever tried to catch a dog running away from you? You may know that often the dog will consider it a game of tag and just run faster! I think you see where I’m going with this.
Aries men will take full advantage of someone who chases them because they know they’ll win but they may play hot and cold so you feel like you’ve just got him back only for him to run again.
If you’ve ever stopped chasing a dog, you’ll know that they usually turn back around to look for you when they realize you’re gone.
That’s the Aries man! Give them their space to feel free and they’ll quickly remember all the comforts and luxuries of having a partner and wander back to you. I’ll take reverse psychology for $1000, Alex!
4. Shut Him Down
Aries men are ruled by the flaming Mars, the most masculine planet of them all. They are literally the manliest men in the Zodiac, which makes them subject to pretty much every issue that these stereotypical macho-men are known to have.
Your Aries guy may have wandered off because he’s trying to pull a tough guy move where he carries his burdens alone. Translation: He’s too embarrassed to admit he has feelings!
In the case, your Aries does break down in favor of telling you how he feels make sure you listen and don’t offer any snide remarks. At this time, don’t bring up the time he’s spent away. Just appreciate that he’s here now communicating with you.
If the Aries realizes that venting isn’t making him look weak then it will invite him to share with you more frequently and maybe it will encourage him to stick around more!
Read next: 7 Texts That Will Get An Aries Man to Chase You Again
5. Answer Every Call
One reason an Aries pulls away is because their insatiable desire for stimulation is forcing them to seek more thrilling activities! If his environment becomes too predictable, he’ll be subconsciously looking for ways to spice it up, hence why Aries men are known for starting meaningless fights!
An Aries that knows he doesn’t have to compete for your love will quickly lose interest. Instead, give him a reason to think that your attention is elsewhere!
If you normally answer his texts and calls quickly, leave him hanging for a while. Wait 24 hours or more to respond to a text and it will certainly get his attention. Be vague about why you couldn’t answer… let his imagination go wild!
He’ll quickly become obsessed with finding out what you’re doing and making you engaged with him once again. This is the best feeling for an Aries since they love to feel challenged with a herculean task like winning your heart back!
The Aries man is nothing short of a challenge, but that’s sort of his MO… nothing is easy with him! He relies a lot on the feedback he’s getting, whether he realizes it or not. Your actions can surely make or break the situation because he’ll perform the exact opposite of how you expect!
He needs a little conflict in his life, so if he’s pulling away it could well be because he wants to see what you’ll do… the tension and drama are his favorite!
My advice? Beat him at his own game! Don’t do what he expects, go ahead and switch it up. This turn of events is sure to get him sniffing around you once more!
Are you dating an Aries man? What’s worked for you when he has pulled away? You know I’m dying to know, so lay it on me in the comments below!
If you want to know more about the ways of the Aries man then check out my book, Aries Man Secrets. You can find it here.
And if you feel like you need some private guidance on your relationship, I’ve still got a few spots open for my ‘VIP Consultation’ service that you can book here to get instant clarity and guidance. You can book your private consultation here.
Wishing you all the luck in the Universe,
Anna Kovach
21 thoughts on “5 Things NOT To Do When An Aries Man Is Pulling Away”
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What worked for me if he pulled away, is what you taught me before it happened!
I gave him lots of space, went out with my friends, took up a new hobby, etc.
Now he calls me the Mysterious Ms M !!!
I.had to learn to be patient, which is NOT one of my strong suits!
Hi Maggie!
Nice! Glad to know the tactic worked for you. Wonderful to hear! Thank you for sharing this so other women see that it does actually work. Remember, if you ever need more information, you can always read my books on Aries Man Secrets. Blessings to you!
Hi the Aries man.
So quiet yet so into me.
He is a way at work in an country working for our government.
Work has him worried for his teenage son and does say he’s Boring.not to me.
How do I intrigued him?
Hi Kendra!
It sounds like he has his hands very full and probably in a stressful situation which is causing him to not be so interested. You’ll need to be very patient with him and keep reaching out to say hi and ask him how he is doing. Be understanding of what is happening with him. By showing him support, he’ll come back to you with open arms. He’ll love knowing he can talk to you when he feels he needs to or wants to. Check out my books sometime on Aries Man Secrets. I think it may help you that much more.
It’s honestly the first time I’m dealing with an Aries. He is a triple aries actually, mercury and venus in aries too. I’m truly shocked that the being mysterious and not answering quick actually works. He disappeared on me for two days within the first month of us talking everyday and I did absolutely nothing!! He came back with a crying emoji saying he missed me so much and that even if he disappears not to ever stop texting him, yea right!!! Well I don’t do that, you don’t give me attention I won’t either lol (virgo/libra) cusp.
We have a lot of fun through phone calls and text, he seems good and respectful so far. Just wanted to mention that as much as I want to reply quickly to him when I’m available, I’ve tried my very best to not reply and take between 3 to 7 hours, one day I took 22 hrs and he was going crazy and I could clearly see a shift in our relationship for good! He is way more attentive ever since and texts me a lot!
Hi Pia!
Mercury in Aries would indicate his way of thinking and his ability to take action on this thoughts and ideas. Venus in Aries would mean this is who he is seeking as a partner. Venus is for ladies and Mars is for men. He’s best with Aries or another fire sign (Sagittarius or Leo). Aries men are doing what they want at any given time which sometimes leaves their lady in a state of confusion. Basically he’s saying, even if I do what I want, don’t end it with me. That’s sort of unfair for you. I would tell him that you understand his personal freedom but if he wants to disappear for days then he should let you know that he’s going to do that so that you don’t wonder what is going on. Learn more about Aries men by checking out my books on Aries Man Secrets.
I met a Aries man things were going great in the beginning we dated about 2 months then i noticed him pulling away i was a bit confused. I use to hear from him everyday by either text or phone calls. I felt we had a strong connection mentally and physically. So i decided to text him on the 3rd day of not hearing from him asking, i texted ” Hi I thought of you today , how have you been? hope you had a good weekend. ” he responded by saying he was no doing well and was going though situations and he will call me later. So to make a long story short he called me later that day and said he needs to stop dating me because he needs to figure his life out and things are going bad for him being a single father and his life is not going well and he may be wanting to sell his house and move and leave his church. I said i hope its not me he said no its not he said he does not want to shut down on me if he continues to date me and its not fair to me if he has so much going on. And he proceeded to say he don’t want to fall in love with me and cant give himself fully due to his personal issues. He does not even want to be a friend. I am so sad, are Aries men like this? I fell deep and hard for this man.
Hi Pauline!
Oh boy… yes… it sounds like he has some fears that he needs to face. Until he faces his own personal demons he cannot give you the love you deserve. I am so sorry that you’re going through this. Yes, most Aries men can be like this IF they have problems that they haven’t worked through with themselves. The only thing you can really do here is be patient with him and give him time to figure himself out. The other option would be letting him go entirely and moving on. If you hang in there and want to know more, you can check out my information in the Aries Man Secrets books.
Scorpio Female here, met an Aries Man amazing energy between us extremely passionate sex that lasts for hours followed by very intimate snuggling and after our fourth time seeing each other…left off on a high note….he has now disappeared for 8 days and I have not reached out at all. Hoping this method will bring him back even if it’s only to say why he hasn’t called.
Hi Barbara!
Why haven’t you reached out to him knowing that he’s gone quiet? I think you do need to reach out to him and ask him why he ghosted you. That’s not good and he doesn’t need to think it’s a good thing for him to act this way. Ignoring him isn’t going to bring him back. He has to want to come back and want to talk to you but I think you do need to reach out and find out what is going on. It’s not right for him to do that to you. Learn more about Aries man by reading my books on Aries Man Secrets.
Dated Aries for 19 months which turned into a great partnership and relationship. Gave me the space I wanted but we were close. Now he says that when we met he said he wanted to be single, date and have sex with multiple women. With me, we have become a couple. Can we just be close friends without sex while he dates others. We are in our 60s. I reacted calmly and quietly that I was leaving his house. He kept trying to get me to agree to his suggestion.
I’m not that woman. I enjoyed the relationship and it got me back into dating. 2 years ago I didn’t think I could have a great relationship again. This experience with Aries proved me wrong. Right now, I’m ceasing communication so I can focus on my new promotion. If he is meant for me as I think, he will rethink his options and come back before the point of no return so we can partner again. If not, I am convinced the universe, the Divine has someone even better in store for me!
Hi Carol!
Quite honestly it sounds like he isn’t really looking to settle down. He wants to play and have fun. I wouldn’t agree to this situation unless you in your heart of all hearts think it would be alright. If you are a monogamist though, that’s not going to work for you. He’s basically asking you for an “open” relationship. It really all depends on how you feel about it. Do what works for you sweetheart. You’re right, the universe will always provide!
Hey Anna,
I’ve been dating an Aries man since Sept. Things were going great and then we start arguing about stupid things. I am a Scorpio. One week his space and didn’t communicate with me for a day and didn’t talk to me for almost 6 days. Then we were good again. He always takes his time to text and call me back which is very annoying. He says he loves me but his actions do not show that because someone moving that way doesn’t translate to love for me.
This time he took his space for 9 days and then he told me he wanted to still be with me and he hated the arguing that he works a lot and it’s distracting him. Then he called me on the 12th day. I wasn’t calling him or texting him everyday. This time when we talked he said he missed me and i told him I wanted to start over. He said he doesn’t want to because he is learning a lot about himself from dating me and he likes that about our relationship.
He still doesn’t call or text me everyday. He use to before the arguing and he says that he loves me and wants to be with me. I’m not happy with what he is doing though.
Please advise!
Hi British Gurl!
Aries and Scorpio are the two signs that are quick fused. The silent treatment from Aries is normal. They rely on having a partner that will not spar with him. You both have to work on how you communicate otherwise this heated romance may not work. You have to approach him in a way that isn’t going to set him off thus causing silence between you again. He may be testing you by not calling or texting like he used to. It might take him time to get back to that but he wants to see how you will react to his not reaching as much. Patience is going to be necessary here because if you lose it and tell him it sucks he’s not reaching out, he will take it the wrong way and you end up at the bottom. Try not reaching out to him as much for a while and see what he does. He may just re-engage in chasing you again. Check out my guides on Aries Man Secrets sometime. I wish you all the best!
Ok, so I’m a pisces sun female (aries mercury, in the 8th) with an aries sun male. We share a virgo moon conjunct within less than 1 degree. Here’s the thing with this advice- and no offense is meant- this seems like manipulative behavior with the focus on “getting him back” rather than “giving your partner what he needs.” There is certainly some of the latter in there, but the focus on getting a particular result is just putting off inevitable compatibility or other issues. The truth is, if someone (aries man, or otherwise) pulls away, THEY need to pony up and deal with it. The key is to understand whether you are in a committed relationship with that person or not, and if you have not explicitly discussed this with your partner, you absolutely cannot assume you are. If you’re committed, then the number 1 advice for aries men is to both take them at their word to honor that commitment and honor it yourself. You need to already decide and know that if your partner does this or that, or if you do this or that, what’s going to happen. So when one person puts less into the relationship (whether that’s a full pulling back or just some emotional distance), you need to know BEFORE it happens what your decision about the relationship is. I wish I had known that and wouldn’t have butchered the first half of our relationship by breaking up with him for several months and coming back crying that I really do love him and blah blah basically acting a pisces fool. The truth is, I’ve already decided how I feel, and if he goes cold on me again, fine, I have plenty to do and the space for us is there and is adaptable. Aries are oddly creatures of comfort- its a weird like, almost cancerian tendency- and they really go on the “hero’s journey” and WANT a home to to come back to even if they burn everything and everyone in their path. Good news on my side is fire can’t burn water 😉 Golden rule of relationships: know yourself. From there, you can decide how to love someone. I’ll choose him in this and every other life I have the extraordinary honor. If he chooses to do or not do something, ok. If he wants me or not, ok. I don’t have to sit here miserable over it- I just love and keep that light on and do whatever I need/want to do haha. If I need something, I ask. If he goes dark (and oh, he does), it’s ok. Love is simple when you decide that it is. Good luck- these guys are a wild ride and not for the faint of heart!!
Hi S!
Thank you for such a detailed experience. I’m sure many women will treasure this. I love hearing from women who are so open to share their own personal story to help others. Blessings to you sweetheart! I wish you all the love you deserve.
Hi im a capricorn woman an he is an aries man is it normal like he will tell you he is crying he is not okay and you keep him lifting him up to be okay and he just said i cant talk he send me picture that he cried like a baby so im just worried asking what happend and telling him HEY HEY HEY YOU ARE AN ARIES YOU ARE A GOD OF WAR WIPE YOUR TEARS STAND UP do your work and go home their opinion doesnt define you okay you are doing great i believe in you i understand that you are hurting but i know you are strong dont give up okay then he told me he said okay then i just said okay i will give u space i respect you then he send me a white heart and i went to sleep now i wake up no message but he make a myday in his story in instagram and i dont view it because he did not message me i ddnot even seen his white heart message. Why all aries man is like a baby and always problematic i want to give up on him but i cant leave him likee that
Hi Charyn!
All Aries men are strong yes but emotionally they don’t cope as well. They internalize things and carry it around until they basically break down. They don’t like talking about their feelings with anyone. This is why they need a partner who knows what they are like and can be strong for them when they are weak. Not all Aries men act like babies by the way. They’re just far more sensitive than anyone really knows because they always want to display how strong they are. Try telling him inspirational things, lead by example if you can, and tell him you’re there for him. Be sensitive with him. If you are always hard when he needs you then he will start to pull away. I wish you luck in your love relationship!
I’m a Cancer and he’s an Aries… ? You can only imagine!!! Emotions vs Non Emotions! This is a cycle for us… I’m a very loving , caring person. And it seems like he runs from that at times. Then when he is in need of it he’s back! Ugh… I hate it .. because it’s almost as if I’m being forced to be cold hearted when I’m not! I hate games… all this back and forward. Are wanting to see how I’m going to respond just to keep you happy get exhausting. But on the other hand when we are both on the same page we are good! Now we are back in one of his ghosting moments! And it’s hard for me to pull away because he doesn’t communicate he needs his time. It’s just one day messages and calls get short. So I’m left feeling dumb for reaching out! Because naturally I care , but he wants to play freaking cat and mouse! ? So I’ve decided to tell him today that we need to take at least 7 days to ourselves. Im going to say I want to give you ur space and time. What you guys think??
Hi Keshia!
Oh yes, the combination is definitely interesting sweetheart. Communication may be difficult between you two but not impossible. I’m glad that you’ve found a way to be on the same page. It wouldn’t hurt for you two to sit down once a week or once every other week and actually talk to each other without emotions rising up to ruin the moment. Check in on each other and ask how things are going without any actual motive. This may show both of you that there is care. Take it easy and think before you speak. Don’t talk to him with emotion. Rather than telling him you want to give him space, you should probably tell him that you feel he’s blowing you off and you aren’t happy with the way things are going. Ask him why he has changed and what he wants. See what he says. Let your intuition guide you from there. I wish you all the best!
Hi, im taurus, 13th and he is an aries 2nd. We survived 4 years of relationship but now we’re in our hard times. He’s pushing me away, cut me off, shift his focus to others. He always comes home late. He stop cares if I eat or not. He does make it clear that he’s tired with our relationship. But I said that I want to change things and make it work. It’s two months now but he’s always avoid to spend time with me. He always chose to come home late and leave early in the morning. Should i just leave 😢 but i still love him so much.