Aries Man Hot And Cold Game — How To Beat An Aries At His Own Game?

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
Are you dating an Aries man who was loving at first but then he became ice cold? Find out everything about Aries man hot and cold game...

The Aries man hot and cold game is something most women should know about. One minute these men are all over you and the next, it seems like they couldn’t care less about you and want nothing to do with you. How painful!

These guys are all for living in the moment and giving into their impulses. An Aries man hot and cold is almost something you need to get used to if you want to be with him. But that doesn’t make it any better, does it?

So why are Aries men so hot and cold and what can you do about it? Well, the answer to this is, you can beat him at his own game. You just need to know what the rules are. If you truly understand the innerworkings of an Aries man, then you’ll be able to play him like a fiddle.

Are you curious to know why An Aries man disappears and comes back? Well, then you have definitely come to the right place. Keep on reading to find out all the tips and tricks to make an Aries man stay put and commit to you:

Does An Aries Man Like Playing Hot And Cold Game?

One thing you need to understand about all Aries men is that they are incredibly impulsive. These guys just do what they want when they want to and because they feel like it. They don’t do it because of some big scheme or plan, in fact, they are simply listening to their intuition. 

An Aries man isn’t purposely being hot and cold with you, it is simply in his nature to do this. When he is on, he is on, and when he is off, he is most definitely off. But he definitely isn’t the type of guy who has a big master plan behind his actions. 

I can promise you, most of the time he is likely to be totally unaware of his actions. He has no idea how he is making you feel, cos he is just focused on himself and what feels good to him.

Read alsoDark Side Of An Aries Man — 9 Aries Men Negative Traits

Why Is An Aries Man Hot And Cold? 6 Possible Reasons

1. He Rushed Into The Connection With You

Aries men crave excitement and so when he meets someone who sparks that thrill; he tends to gravitate toward her. He will think it’s “love at first sight” without getting to know her or whether or not she’s even good for him.

When he does this; at some point; he’s going to think things through and when he does; he realizes he jumped into a situation or relationship too quickly. Your Aries man will start pulling back and trying to mull things over a bit.

He’s not as much of a critical thinker as some of the other signs. He’s intelligent but his mind is so busy that he often doesn’t take time to really get things in order before he makes decisions.

He gets excited and dives right into whatever he wants without any regard for the consequences that may follow. Once he really understands that he shouldn’t have done it; he back peddles.

He may figure out that the person he got into a quick relationship with wasn’t the one, maybe he realizes he likes someone else as well, or he could have realized he’s not really ready for any relationship at all.

When Aries man goes too fast; he is doomed to throw the brakes on and finally think about what he’s doing. Sometimes it results in him figuring out it’s the right thing and then sometimes he figures out she’s not the “one” for him.

2. His Fears And Anxieties Kicked In

This sometimes hits any man no matter what their sign is. However; with this fire Zodiac sign; they tend to build up walls once they’ve been hurt. Though his “instant satisfaction” kicks in when he meets a wonderful lady; his instincts kick in later.

I mentioned that he back peddles or pulls back. If he realizes that he still has fears of getting hurt; he’ll also wonder if he has the potential to hurt the woman he’s getting involved with.

He doesn’t want to intentionally hurt anyone else because he’s been hurt but sometimes he gets so wound up and excited about someone new that he bypasses the healing process.

If he’s still harboring difficult problems within himself due to a past relationship or heartbreak; he will inevitably shut down or back off. He knows he has walls and he knows it will take the right person to tear those down.

He won’t give in easily and even though he seemed so warm and caring at the beginning when you met him; if he’s carrying this heavy load on his heart; he’s going to worry that someone is going to get hurt therefore he steps back.

Patience is required to get through the times when an Aries man disappears, goes radio silent, and doesn’t want to make plans. He may need some personal time alone to work on his inner issues.

If he’s able to heal himself successfully; he’ll come back arms open. Of course you as a woman; need to decide if he’s worth waiting for at all or if there is perhaps someone else better for you out there.

3. He Feels Pressure To Commit

An Aries man really likes to chase women. If he isn’t ready to commit to one person; he’s likely playing the field. He is one that is one extreme or the other. There is no in between.

If he’s being all hot to trot with you and making it seem as though you’re the one he wants; your Aries man is probably playing you. If he isn’t; he’ll make it apparent over time. Otherwise; you can assume he’s seeing what he can get from you.

Aries men love having more than one woman on the line for themselves until they’re ready to fully dive in and give completely of their hearts. If he isn’t ready and willing to become more with you; he will become cold or shut off.

He has fun with you at first but then realizes you want more from him than he’s willing to give so he decides to bail out before you end up getting hurt. He’d rather you be upset sooner than later.

So if an Aries man started super hot and heavy but now suddenly puts on the brakes and goes cold; he may have decided that he just doesn’t want to become something more with you than friends with benefits.

He’d rather back off and be cold than confront you and tell you the truth. He doesn’t want to be seen as the bad guy so he’d rather make it look like you chose to let him go. It’s twisted I know but that’s how he operates.

You may also want to readAries Man Playing Mind Games — Does It Mean He Is Testing Me?

4. He Had A Change Of Heart

Just like with anyone; if he changes his mind; he may push on the brakes. He may have spent some hot times with you but figured out that something about you doesn’t mesh well with him so he decided to back off.

Again; instead of just telling you; he’d rather just sort of walk away and let you figure it out. It’s not the most decent thing to do but Aries doesn’t want the responsibility for breaking your heart.

It’s also possible that there was someone else that he liked better and when it came down to it; he chose her instead. Aries is rarely totally alone. He may always have another woman waiting in the wings until he commits.

Once an Aries man does commit; he will actually go sober with the women. That means he will give up having another woman as a backup, should things not work with the woman he committed himself to.

Some of them, however; will hold onto that “backup plan”. It gives them peace of mind knowing that there is someone else waiting for them should things not go as well as planned.

So if you find yourself having an Aries man backing off or going cold; he may be deciding that the other woman is perhaps a better fit. If that happens; he’ll pretty much drop you without even saying much of anything.

5. Emotions Overwhelm Him

The Aries man doesn’t deal well with emotions. He could very well have baggage from a past relationship that he isn’t willing to let go of. If this is the case; he will often get his feet wet with you but then retract his feet.

He may actually really care for you and want to be with you but also be terrified of you hurting him. Instead of talking to you about it; he’ll just become quiet and reserved.

Some extremes cause the Aries man to become so frightened that he calls it off altogether. It really will depend on what his past looks like and how he was treated by other women.

Of course; it’s not likely he’s going to share with you what happened or even why. That would make him look weak in front of you. He has the old-fashioned mentality that men should keep their feelings to themselves.

It’s a weakness to share how you feel with someone else much less the woman you really are into. What I say to you about this is; good luck! It’s hard to get an Aries man to open up and talk about his feelings.

6. He Is Testing You

The Aries man sometimes will test a woman to see if she will suit his needs. This means he may actually start doing things like backing off to see how you react to it.

He may say unkind things to see what you say or do. He wants to see how you handle several different types of scenarios. I wouldn’t buy too much into it though because some of it may actually show you why he may not be a good fit.

However; if he is a good fit; it can also give you the opportunity to pass his tests with flying colors. Giving him time and space will be a big one. If your Aries man doesn’t call you or text you right back for a day or two; don’t sweat it.

Send him a text telling him to have a great day and leave it at that. He’ll get back to you when he realizes that you’re not going to sit around and pine for him all day. It also shows him though; that you’re still there for him.

He wants you to prove yourself loyal, understanding, patient, intelligent, and witty. If you are being tested; he may very well be considering whether or not he wants to actually get more serious with you.

Take that as a blessing and give him what he requires. If an Aries man chooses you; you’ll know it and the “cold” part will dissipate a bit. He’ll never completely lose the edge but he will settle down quite a bit.

What To Do When An Aries Man Turned Cold

Many women ask me what they can do when their Aries man gets hot and heavy and then goes cold. The best thing to do is to wait and see what happens. If he cares but was afraid; he’ll come back. Aries men always come back.

The most important thing to remember is to not chase him. Aries men need to feel like the hero so it is imperative that you let him come to you to win you over again. This is part of the thrill for him.

If he had second thoughts and disappeared then he may have decided to move on and this is one of the signs an Aries man is not interested anymore. However, in the event that he has up walls and is fearful; there is still a chance he’ll come back around.

A great deal of patience is required for these men. If an Aries man disappears, you can send one text expressing your care and that you’re there for them. Then they have to decide if they want that or not.

The best way to drive him crazy again is to pretend like he doesn’t exist. This will hurt him like crazy and make him realize that he needs to win you back again. Expect this cat-and-mouse game throughout your relationship. It is his nature. 

When An Aries Man Disappears And Comes Back — What Should I Do?

Naturally, if he’s thought things through and decides to make a go of the relationship; he’ll seemingly come back around with passion again. The thing is; you’ll be leery about whether or not he means it. An Aries man hot and cold is so confusing for this very reason!

This is absolutely a normal reaction. The problem with this is that if he senses that you’re leery; he’ll feel offended and get ticked off. In other words, if he feels you’re doubting whether he’ll stick around or not; he’ll get very upset. But sometimes this can work in your favour. An angry Aries man is a passionate Aries man. 

Again; it’s totally legitimate for you to feel this way. However; it may be something best discussed with your friends rather than him. If you somehow find a way to tell him you are doubtful; he may disappear again.

That doesn’t mean you should never talk to him about how you feel but I can tell you that Aries men get offended by a woman who questions their intention or integrity. It’s a dicey situation and you’ll need to be very careful.

I’d say give him another shot and let him prove to you that he’s going to stick around. If he disappears for the 2nd time; it may then be time to reconsider if he’s really what you want. An Aries man disappears and comes back as often as you allow him. So please do remember your boundaries. 

No one wants to worry about their mate suddenly disappearing whenever it suits him. You certainly don’t deserve this either. I’ve had letters from clients who take him back multiple times only for him to end it or have an affair.

If your Aries man disappears once and comes back warmed up to you again, it’s alright if you let him back into your world as long as you keep your antenna up and eyes open.

How To Beat An Aries Man At His Own Game

Well, if you want to beat an Aries man at his own game then you are going to have to mimic his behaviours. You know that right after a very good time with you, he usually backs away and goes MIA. You need to anticipate this and pull away before he does. 

It is always best to act just a little elusive and unavailable with an Aries man. As soon as he gets wind of you being too interested in him it usually turns your Aries man off and makes him want to run away and play his games.

Playing hard to get is one of the best things to do if you want to beat an Aries man at his own game. He adores a challenge, and if you make it difficult for him to get close to you, you’re always going to be the winner. 

Not being too available is always a major turn on for an Aries man. He always needs to feel like he has some kind of conquest going on. This is what makes him feel like a man, and when he meets a woman who can inspire this in him, it makes him extremely happy. 

Always be one step ahead of him, don’t give over your control. You need to make him work for it. Be in your feminity and let him come to you, trust me, you will both have a better relationship because of it.

You may also want to readAries Man Playing Mind Games — Does It Mean He Is Testing Me?

Does Your Aries Man Pull Away After Intimacy?

Does your Aries man pull away or get quiet when you’ve just had a deep emotional connection? Or does he seem to disappear just when you thought he was getting closer? Have you felt confused by his hot and cold behavior?

If so, then he might have an avoidant attachment style.

He could be Dismissive Avoidant and completely terrified of commitment… Or he could be Fearful Avoidant and REALLY want commitment, but get scared when he feels himself getting closer to you.

If he has either one of these attachment styles, you’re going to end up feeling extremely confused at times. And both are caused by childhood trauma.

When you can see the scared little boy inside him that had to shut down his feelings if he’s dismissive avoidant… Or have a parent not provide his needs consistently if he’s fearful avoidant…

It can make it easier to have empathy and compassion for his confusing and frustrating behavior. 

But that won’t fix it.

And while advice on attachment styles can be helpful… What you really need to stop this frustrating hot and cold cycle is to understand him better.

Thankfully, there is a simple system to TRULY understand how he ticks based on his Astrology <<

It will stop him from pulling back when you begin feeling closer. And it will accomplish this in only 30 days

So no more crying yourself to sleep when he pulls back… No more feeling incredibly confused. And no more wondering what in the heck is going on with him… Even if he has an avoidant attachment style.

Go here now to turn things around with your Aries man in 30 days or less << 



About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

9 thoughts on “Aries Man Hot And Cold Game — How To Beat An Aries At His Own Game?

  1. You understand an aries very well, how this possible to know so much about someone with their birth sign.

    1. Hi Bangladesh!

      It’s a study that you have to undertake. I’ve done years of it. You can also dig even deeper into someone’s persona by looking into their full birth chart. Sun sign only scratches the surface. If you’d like to know more about Aries man, you can also check out my book “Aries Man Secrets”.

  2. I’m in a new relationship with an Aries man (2 months) and I find him so hard to read! When we are together he is funny/passionate/attentive but when we’re apart I might not get a message for hours or all day some times!
    It leaves me questioning where things are at.
    He doesn’t express emotions very well, and being a Scorpio, I’m all about expressing every emotion!
    I want to hang in there but I need more from him, I need constant reassurance and I’m not sure he can give me that.

    1. Hi Scorpio Lady!

      He sounds like a very typical Aries man my dear. All of what you say is true. Patience is key to winning your Aries guy over to open up and be more in tune with you. Tell him exactly what you told me… that you need more from him and reassurance that your relationship is headed somewhere. Check out my books on Aries Man Secrets for more useful tips.

  3. I’m in a relationship with an aries man for almost 2 years now, and even now he just vanishes for two days or more because his mood isn’t good or because of something I did that I didn’t even know triggered him. And even though I am patient I just can’t stop thinking if he will ever be the same affectionate person he used to be and share the same bond we used to have.For the days he is gone I can’t get over it and focus on my life and when he is back to being normal I get to know that he has probably had really good time with his friends. This makes me very irritated because when I was constantly worrying about us he was enjoying with his friends. Help me with dealing with this and him and how do i tell him this affects me alot

    1. Hi Zoe!

      I’m sorry your Aries guy is so frustrating. If he is vanishing it’s because he doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions very well. Going to spend time alone or with friends allows him to zone out and de-stress. I think what you need to do is “let go” of expectation. Not for him but for you. Start doing things for yourself or with your friends when he does this. Don’t try to text him or reach him. When he comes back around act casual instead of with worry. It will make him wonder what is going on with you and then maybe he’ll want to talk about it and try to make things right. If not then you need to confront him and give it your all with how you feel. If he cannot come around you will have to decide if this is a relationship you should stay in or if you should get out of it to start anew. I wish you all the very best sweetheart!

  4. Hi everyone,
    I am in a situationship with an Aries man-Pisces Moon-Scorpio ASC, but he lives in another country so we only talked online and by phone and in the beginning for the first 2 weeks everything was perfect, like I never experienced before with anyone else. Then he started to pull away when the time to meet was getting closer, and right before flying over (he even bought the plane ticket because he has shown it to me) he said he met a girl there and his plans changed. We stopped talking for 3 weeks and then I reached out and said to him that I hope he is alright, and that I am OK with everything has happened. He responded and we started talking again for a few days, but not with the same energy, because he told me he didn’t know what else to say and he feels that he did me wrong and any other words wouldn’t justify. I asked him when can we talk more about what happened and what is happening in the present, and if he still has feelings for me and if he still wants to see me live, and he said Yes to both questions. He said that he will fly over to meet me and talk f2f about everything in the weekend. But then again in the day when we were supposed to meet, after he already told me he is in the country and he was supposed to travel to my city, so in that day he left me waiting and never replied back until the next day in the midnight. In the meantime I sent him a lot of messages and told him that i will block him forever if he doesn’t give me a sign. At almost midnight he reached out and said to forgive him for everything, and I told him I want to talk with him on the phone and don’t want to hear anything else in written because I was sick of this after what he did. And he said he has nothing to prove and to explain, I said ok then, you are right, and we stopped talking again for almost a week.
    What might be going on? Is he testing me because he has feelings as he told me, or is he playing me because he doesn’t have feelings and he is just a psycho?

  5. I’m so appreciative of this websites info seeing other women and knowing what I’m going through with the Aries man in my life is not out of the norm but definitely a decision I need to make for myself. I’m a Capricorn and we are known to be consistent/grounded people so I can’t really be in a relationship with a flighty man especially if I’m considering having a husband/father of my further kids. So I think I know what best to do in this relationship with the Aries man.

  6. Interesting article! I’m an Aries man myself, so I can definitely relate to some of the things you’re saying. I think it’s important to be assertive and not let people push you around, but at the same

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