Have you been on a date with an Aries man, and are now unsure whether to text him first or wait until he texts you? Well, yeah… Aries men can be difficult when it comes to texting. They aren’t one for doing it very often, so getting them to text you first can be taxing.
Initiating contact for the Aries man is something that he has to come to terms with. He may start out hot and heavy, but then he dies off. It’s not that your Aries man has lost interest, but it’s more that he gets lazy about it…
Here are my best tips on what to text an Aries man to get his attention…
And now, let’s get into who should text first…
In my years as a relationship astrologer, the question of who should text first comes up constantly with women dating an Aries man, and I understand the worry behind it. You do not want to seem too eager, but you also cannot bear the silence of waiting. The good news is that the Aries man, ruled by bold and direct Mars, responds to confidence far better than to games. Once you understand how he thinks about texting, the anxiety of who reaches out first melts away.
Discover exactly how an Aries man thinks about pursuit and texting inside Aries Man Secrets here.
Do Aries Men Like When You Text First?
An Aries man is all about taking action and pursuing his goals, so he’s attracted to women who have that same fiery drive. He wants a woman who steps up and takes the lead, especially if you send a bold and unforgettable first message.
It’s that kind of confidence that’ll really grab an Aries man’s attention. So, if you’re wondering, “Should I text an Aries man first?”, the answer is yes – he’ll admire your assertiveness and likely be eager to respond.
Read also: Will An Aries Man Make The First Move? Find Out Here
But… How To Get An Aries Man To Reach Out First?
1. Get His Attention Again
In the beginning, it’s likely the Aries man was chasing you first-that’s what he should do. If he didn’t, then this may show you that he’s a tough nut to crack and that he may not be easy to accomplish initiation with.
Basically, you have to do things that excite him, make him feel needed (not too much though), and get him to chase you again. If he has slowed way down then he needs to be reminded of what it was like before.
It’s possible he’s gotten bored or gotten caught up with other things going on in his world which have caused him to go quiet. He may not even realize anything is wrong.
He could have gotten very comfortable with the fact that he’s with you and he now isn’t concerned with the things that he used to be. He’s not trying to win you anymore because he has you.
This causes an Aries man to be lazy about reaching out first. He figures if you want to talk, you’ll reach out to him. He forgets he’s the hunter, the Alpha, the one who has to be the chaser and initiator.
You’ve got to do some things to remind him of this. When you do, he’ll pick up the pace and start making more of an effort. In the sections below, I will describe more the things you need to pull off to get him motivated.
2. Re-Ignite The Passion
Remember when the passion was really burning? When you two could hardly keep your hands off each other? You’ve got to bring that back! What exactly did you two do back then? What was exciting?
You need to figure out that recipe and try it again. Things may have changed since then, but if he still loves and cares for you, he will be into it. Do spontaneous things with or for him.
Try to let him be your “hero” a little here and there. It excites him to do things for you sometimes. Not all the time though-don’t be needy or your Aries man will be turned off.
Just here and there, make him want to help you. Ask him to do something that he knows you know how to do, but you want him to help you with. You can come up with anything as far as getting your Aries man to assist you. He’ll appreciate you came to him and he’ll love it that you do need him sometimes!
3. Make Him Miss You
Find things to do to keep yourself busy. Don’t be at his beck and call. Don’t wait around for his texts. Make him wait a bit. Also pull back on your own texting. When an Aries man misses you, he’ll want to text you first.
Yes, I understand the fear of losing him if you aren’t reaching out touching base. However, if he’s now reliant on you to initiate, then he’ll expect it to stay this way and doesn’t realize you want him to reach out first.
So, make some changes in your routine and shake things up a bit. If you’re used to reaching out to him daily, skip a day and see what happens. Skip two days, and see if he doesn’t reach out to ask you what’s up.
Even if you two live together, you can make yourself a bit sparse so that he gets more of his own free time but at the same time, you’re showing him you don’t need him in that way.
He will love it at first, but then he’ll start to miss you being around. At that point, he will step it up and initiate more with you and ask you to stay home with him.
4. Talk To Him About It
This is the most direct route to see whether your Aries man will get back on track and start to initiate again or, if he never was, it could get him to actually make an effort there.
Getting an Aries man to text you first can be as simple as telling him that you really love talking to him, but you wish he would try initiating more as it would be more exciting for you.
If he thinks that it will be a good thing for you and will make you happy, he may very well do that. This is especially true if he really cares for you or loves you.
While Aries men can be a bit selfish sometimes, they are also protectors of their loved ones. They would never let anyone mess with them. He’s an excellent man and provider.
All you really have to do is get his attention and talk to him about the way you are feeling about everything. You don’t have to be emotional. In fact, it works best if you do it in a cool, calm way.
Tell him that you don’t mind initiating sometimes, but you’d like it if he would at least meet you halfway on it. The same goes for making plans. Tell him it would be exciting if he made plans ahead of time for you two.
You can tell him how romantic and wonderful it would be if he were to surprise you with an already laid out date. Telling him like this is like positive support pushing him in the right direction.
What It Really Means When An Aries Man Does Not Text First
When an Aries man stops texting first, most women immediately fear the worst, but with him it usually means something far less alarming. An Aries man lives in the present and follows his impulses. Once he feels he has won you, his hunter instinct relaxes, and texting simply drops down his list of priorities. He is not playing games and he has not necessarily cooled toward you. He has just gotten comfortable, and comfort makes a Mars-ruled man a little lazy about reaching out.
This is where the distinction I always share with my clients matters. In my surveys, 28% of women said there was a strong connection with their Aries man that felt like it was fading. Not gone, fading. Very often, quieter texting is that fading feeling, and it is almost always about his comfort and his need for space rather than lost interest. The chase energy has eased, but the caring is still there.
That said, watch the whole picture, not just the texts. If he is still warm and engaged when you are together, still makes plans, and still lights up around you, then his lighter texting is nothing to panic over. If he has gone cold across the board, then it is worth a calm conversation. But please do not read a slow reply as rejection. With an Aries man, it rarely is.
Over 254,331 women have already taken this free quiz to find out how their Aries man truly feels and where they really stand with him. Take the free quiz here and see what the stars reveal about his feelings.
How Long Should You Wait Before Texting An Aries Man First?
There is no rigid rule, but with an Aries man, overthinking the timing usually causes more harm than the timing itself. Because he admires boldness, a confident first text sent because you actually want to talk to him is far more attractive than a carefully calculated waiting game. If you had a great date, texting the next day to say you enjoyed it is perfectly fine and often works well with his direct nature.
Where a little patience helps is when you are trying to reawaken his pursuit. If he has gotten lazy about initiating, giving him a day or two of quiet space lets him feel the absence and remember to chase. An Aries man needs to miss you to reignite his hunter instinct, and that requires enough room for him to notice you are not always the one reaching out.
So the honest answer is to text when you truly want to, not on a schedule, but do not fill every silence either. Send the message when you have something warm or fun to say, then let it breathe. That natural rhythm, confident but not clingy, is exactly what keeps an Aries man leaning toward you rather than pulling back.
The Texting Mistake That Makes An Aries Man Pull Away
The fastest way to make an Aries man retreat over text is to double and triple text when he goes quiet. To you it feels like reaching out. To him it feels like pressure, and pressure is the one thing his freedom-loving Mars nature cannot stand. In my research, the need for independence and space was one of the most common themes, raised by well over a hundred women, and crowding him through the phone triggers exactly that nerve.
Anxious texting also tips the balance of the chase. When you always reach out first, always reply instantly, and follow up when he is slow, he never gets the chance to pursue you, and pursuit is how he stays engaged. You accidentally take his favorite role away from him. A confident woman who texts warmly and then goes to live her life keeps him far more interested than one who fills every gap.
If he has gone quiet, resist the urge to chase him through the screen. Send one warm, easy message if you like, then step back and let him come to you. When an Aries man notices the space, his instinct to reach out kicks back in. Give him room to miss you, and he will pick the phone up on his own.
If you want to know exactly what to text an Aries man to reignite his pursuit, my Aries Text Magic guide gives you the messages that speak to his Mars-ruled heart. Take a look here.
Frequently Asked Questions About Texting An Aries Man First
Will an Aries man text you first if he likes you?
In the early stages, yes, usually he will. An Aries man in pursuit mode is bold and direct, and when he is drawn to you he tends to initiate, plan, and chase with real energy. In my surveys, 39% of women felt confident their Aries man liked them, the highest confident rating of any sign, precisely because he is so expressive when his interest is fresh.
The picture changes once he feels secure. After he believes he has won you, his texting can slow down, not because he cares less but because his hunter instinct relaxes and he assumes the connection is settled. This is where many women mistake comfort for disinterest.
So early on, his first texts are a strong sign of genuine interest. Later, lighter texting is usually about comfort rather than cooling. Look at how he treats you overall, and you will read him far more accurately than by counting who texted first.
How often do Aries men text when they like you?
It varies a great deal from one Aries man to another, because texting is not most Aries men’s favorite way to connect. He is a physical, in-person man who often prefers doing over typing. Some Aries men text throughout the day when they are excited about a woman, while others show their interest more through making plans and showing up than through constant messaging.
What matters more than frequency is quality and consistency. An Aries man who likes you will make his interest known when he does text, and he will keep wanting to see you in person. A steady stream of plans and enthusiasm means more with him than a high volume of texts.
If his texting has become sparse, focus less on the count and more on whether he is still pursuing you in other ways. With an Aries man, action speaks far louder than word count.
Should you play hard to get with an Aries man over text?
A little mystery works beautifully with an Aries man, but cold games do not. He loves the thrill of the chase, so a woman who has her own full life and does not reply within seconds every time naturally keeps his pursuit instinct alive. That is not manipulation, it is simply being a woman with her own world who lets him earn her attention.
What backfires is deliberate coldness or obvious game-playing. An Aries man values honesty and directness, and he can sense when he is being toyed with. If he feels manipulated, his pride pulls him away rather than drawing him closer. There is a real difference between healthy mystery and calculated distance.
So the answer is to be truly busy rather than fake busy. Live your life, respond warmly when you do, and let some natural space exist between messages. That authentic balance keeps an Aries man chasing without ever making him feel played.
I would love to hear your story. Are you wondering whether to text your Aries man first, and what happens when you do? Share what is going on in the comments below, and I will do my best to help you read him. I read every single one.
If Your Aries Man Pulls Away, DON’T Do This…
I’ve heard from so many of my clients that their Aries man is AMAZING when they are in person with him…
So charming, sweet, funny, and really connected!
But he can tend to pull away when you’re not with him.
It’s a super frustrating situation for any woman. And if you are like my other clients who have been through this, you’re probably feeling REALLY confused.
“Why is he so hot and cold through text?”
“Why does he back off when we aren’t together?”
And most importantly…
“What can I DO about this?”
First, I want to share the things you definitely should NOT do in this situation…
- Don’t get clingy or needy and ask him if something is wrong or beg to see him
- Don’t force closure if you’ve had some conflict. Wait until you can talk in person about important issues. Text can EASILY lead to miscommunication.
- Don’t assume that there IS a problem. He could just be really busy.
- Don’t get upset with him or freak out. This will only push your Aries man away.
- Don’t ignore him so he can “see what it feels like.”
So what SHOULD you do instead?
- Take some time out to reflect on the situation and consider logical reasons for his actions.
- Date other men if you aren’t exclusive. Don’t lock yourself down with him if you aren’t yet in a committed relationship with him.
- Give him space and time with zero pressure. He might be overwhelmed with work or not be feeling well.
- Focus on your own life. If you don’t have an epic life filled with hobbies and time with friends or family, you need to build that.
Your Aries man should be the sprinkles on the cupcake of your awesome life, not the cupcake itself.
- Let him reach out to you when he’s ready. Aries men like to lead. You need to let him do that!
- When your Aries man comes back, welcome him lovingly with open arms. If you are angry, he’ll want to run.
- When you are in person, let him know (kindly) the things that make you feel valued and adored.
Text can be challenging, and I don’t want you to feel alone in this.
I don’t want you to lie in bed unable to sleep because you are worried about why your Aries man is pulling away.
And there is no need for you to do that.
Especially when I can guide you on how to deeply connect with his heart through text messages…
Because when you know SPECIFICALLY what to text him based on his astrology…
He WON’T be pulling away anymore.
And you’ll never again have to worry about what to say to your lovely Aries man through text anymore.
Click here to see what I mean…
So your Aries man never pulls away again.
Sending you love,
Your sister and relationship astrologer,
Anna Kovach
