Aries is the ultimate man’s man, who likes to think of himself as kicking ass and taking names… often to those around him he just comes off as a player and an annoyance. This is because an Aries is a lot of energy and a lot to handle for anyone.
Don’t give up yet though, because I’ve seen Aries be totally committed and dedicated to their partner. It definitely is not impossible. And when you have secured the loyalty of an Aries then you have nothing on Earth to be afraid of.
But how can you tell if you have one of the elusive evolved Aries men? I have some fool-proof tips to recognize if your Aries man is the type of man who can handle something long term, solid, and loving.
If you want to know if your Aries is in it for the long haul then keep reading to get all of the details I have to offer!
In my years as a relationship astrologer, I have worked with thousands of women dating an Aries man, and the future question is the single one I get asked the most. Across our customer surveys of more than 1,107 women loving an Aries, the words “will not commit” and “I cannot tell where this is going” came up over and over again. The good news is, your Aries actually does broadcast his long-term intentions. He just does it on Mars time, in Mars language, and most women miss the cues completely because they are looking for the soft, slow signals you would expect from a Cancer or a Taurus, when an Aries shows you his future plans through action, pace, and the company he keeps.
If you want a step by step plan to deepen his commitment using small daily moves that work with his Mars rhythm instead of against it, my Aries Man 30 Day Love Challenge was built for exactly the moment you are in right now.
He Talks About The Future He Sees With You
An Aries man is absolutely nothing if not direct and to the point. If he sees a future with you, then he’s going to be the first one to say that!
Aries tend to live in the moment, so if something about you is prompting them to think about the future with you then you know you’ve made a solid impact on them.
You may not find an Aries making future plans in the sense of numbering out the order of events he sees in order of occurrence necessarily… the Aries mind is far too impulsive for that.
However, you may notice phrases like: “babe, we HAVE to do that together sometime,” “You know, one day we should go there,” or similar things. These are impulsive and spur of the moment statements, but either way it indicates that he wants to be impulsive and spur of the moment with you.
Make sure to feed into this and throw in some ideas for your future yourself! Watch how he reacts when it’s your idea to see if it’s truly what he wants.
He Asks You To Tag Along On Adventures
An Aries is ruled by the wild and forceful Mars, and Mars ruled people can rarely sit still and always need some new sort of stimulation to feel alive. This is why you’ll see athletes and adventurers that are Aries.
He is highly inclined to impromptu journeys and little missions of his own creation. He can handle doing everything that he wants to do alone since partnership isn’t a necessity for an Aries to be happy.
Now, if he’s still inviting you to try out his latest schemes with him then you should feel honored, because he doesn’t need you to come along to have fun, he wants you to be there.
This is a sign that he is truly partnering up with you in his own mind. An Aries is not one to be disingenuous in thought, speech, or action. His whole existence is his truth.
This is why it’s safe to assume he sees a future with you if he’s incorporating you into activities that he doesn’t strictly ‘need’ you there for.
He Wants To Try New Things In The Bedroom
This one is a huge sign that he wants this relationship to be his one and only and totally sustainable. To an Aries, his sex life is far more important to him than it is to all other signs (besides Scorpio, who is also traditionally ruled by Mars).
An Aries who brings up what he wants in bed and asks what you want is truly committing. To be honest, an Aries who isn’t serious about the relationship will simply seek out a quantity of sex partners rather than the quality of sex partners.
If he’s working to perfect the sex life between the two of you then take this as a sign that he wants the sex between the two of you to fulfill all of his (rather voracious) needs, rather than incorporating others into his sexual escapades.
Accommodate to your comfort level of course, but make sure you’re sharing your own input! An Aries will put in extra work if he sees that you have a special fantasy. Not to mention, seeing you get turned on turns him on BIG time.
Take my free Cosmic Love Quiz here and see what the stars reveal about your relationship.
He’s Defensive Of You
Aries is ruled by the planet of war, and so he tends to view the world as a “me against you” scenario, but he’ll die for the people who have proven their loyalty to him.
If you have proven to him that you’re firmly on his side then you will find yourself to have your own personal guardian angel in the form of an Aries man. He’ll go above and beyond to protect you from all evil.
And even if the situation isn’t that dire, he’ll still get stirred up if you’re threatened in any way. Even if you come home complaining about a coworker who is gossiping about you, you may see him begin flaring nostrils and getting hot in his cheeks. He simply doesn’t deal well with attacks on his loved ones!
If you notice that he gets emotionally aroused when you are under any type of real or perceived threat then you know that this Aries considers you to be a member of his team and as such, you’re in a coveted spot because he’ll go to the ends of the Earth to keep you safe and defend you.
Read next: Essential Knowledge for Any Woman Married or Engaged to an Aries Man
He Tries To Open Up Emotionally
An Aries man isn’t what you’d call ‘tender.’ Rather, he is often pretty coarse and abrasive, because he has no filter whatsoever in most cases. Hey, no one said partnering with a manly man was painless!
An Aries is honest about his intentions, but being ruled by a planet of war and defense, he has some high walls up lest the enemy (or perceived enemies) try to invade.
It’s a hard thing for him to do but if you stick around long enough and prove that you’re not out to hurt him then he may just relax long enough to get vulnerable with you.
When he opens up I have only one piece of advice… do NOT make him regret it! Not only will it be hard for him to trust you again, but he may not even try to open up to people in general again.
Why An Aries Man Pulls Away Right Before He Commits, And What It Really Means
Here is the part of the future puzzle almost no one explains to women dating an Aries man. He will pull back. Sometimes hard. Sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks. And almost every time, that pullback happens right at the threshold where things are about to get real.
In our survey of over 400 women dating Aries men, 28% said there WAS a strong connection, but it is fading. Not gone. Fading. That distinction matters with a Mars-ruled man, because what feels like the death of the relationship to you is often him stress-testing it. He is checking whether the bond can hold without him pouring his Mars fire into it every minute. He is also checking himself, because Aries men know better than anyone how impulsively they can throw their whole heart in, and a real future-minded Aries will pause and ask whether his intensity at the start was the truth, or just the chase.
The women who lose him at this stage are the ones who chase him into the silence. The women who keep him are the ones who stay calm, stay full, and let him return on his own clock. If he does come back warmer, more invested, and quicker to talk about what comes next, you have just watched an Aries man choose you on purpose. That is the version of him you want, because the Aries who arrives at commitment after a pullback is the Aries who stays.
The Slowing Down Pattern That Tells You An Aries Man Is Picturing Long Term Life With You
An Aries man in pursuit mode lives at full throttle. He texts fast, plans fast, drives fast, makes love fast. So the single most overlooked sign that he is picturing a future with you is not when he speeds up, it is when he slows down.
You will notice it in small ways first. He stops needing to fill every Saturday with an event. He starts wanting to cook in instead of go out. He lingers in bed on a Sunday morning instead of leaping up to go ride, run, lift, or build something. He puts his phone down during dinner. He asks how your week was and actually listens to the answer, instead of cutting in with his own story like he used to in week one. For an Aries, slowing his Mars pace is the closest thing he has to a wedding ring. It says, I do not need the next thrill. I am already in the place I want to be.
If you are seeing this shift, do not break it by accelerating yourself. Match his new pace. Cook the dinner. Take the slow morning. Let the Sunday be quiet. He is showing you what life with him will actually feel like once the chase is over, and your job is not to perform for him in this window, it is to show him you can occupy the calm with him.
He Brags About You In Front Of People Who Matter To Him
An Aries man does not do private commitment. If he is serious about you and seeing a real future, the people in his world will know your name long before you meet them. He will mention you to his brother, his best friend, his coworker, his mother. He will pull out his phone in a group setting and show someone a photo of you. He will introduce you with a sentence that lands you somewhere specific in his life, not just a name and a vague hand wave.
This matters because Aries is the sign that has to win. Mars rules conquest. When an Aries man brags about the woman he is with, he is doing something deeper than complimenting you. He is publicly claiming a victory, and you are the prize he wants the world to see he won. A man who is privately enjoying you but not publicly claiming you is a man who is keeping options open. A man who is publicly bragging is a man who has decided.
The flip side of this is also a tell. If you have been dating for months and his closest people still do not know much about you, that is your data. It is not unkindness on his part, an Aries who is uncertain simply does not perform certainty in front of his tribe. He waits until he means it. So when the bragging starts, take it seriously. He has crossed an internal line.
How An Aries Man Introduces The Woman He Plans To Keep
In our survey, 42% of women dating an Aries man had not met his friends or family yet. That is not a small number, and it points to one of the most useful future signals in the entire Aries playbook. Aries men keep their worlds tightly compartmentalized until they decide. The woman who gets brought into the inner circle is the woman he has decided to build with.
Watch how the introductions are framed. An Aries man who is keeping his options open will introduce you in low stakes settings, a casual group hang, a bar, a quick coffee with a friend. An Aries man who is picturing a future will arrange the meeting on purpose, give it weight, and tell the people in advance that they are going to meet someone important to him. The difference is intent. With an Aries, intent is everything, because he does not pretend, he does not fake reverence, and he does not waste his own social capital introducing women he is not serious about.
If he wants you at a family event, especially one where his mother or his closest sibling will be present, that is the green light most women are looking for. He has decided. He may not have said the word commitment out loud yet, but he has spent his Mars energy positioning you in the part of his life that he protects most fiercely.
Frequently Asked Questions About A Future With Your Aries Man
How long does it take an Aries man to commit?
This is the question I get asked more than any other about Aries men, and the honest answer is, the timeline is the most polarized of any sign. In our 401-woman situation survey, 29% said things were moving quickly, 38% said things were moving slowly, and 33% said there was no real progress at all. That is the Aries paradox in one number set. He either decides early and locks in fast, or he stalls indefinitely.
For the Aries men who do commit, the most common decisive window is the three to six month mark. That is long enough for the chase to settle, for him to test his own feelings, and for him to verify that you are still the woman he met in week one when his Mars fire is no longer doing the talking for him.
If you are past the six month mark and there is still no defined relationship, the issue is rarely about the time on the clock. It is usually that he is in a long pause, either because he is comparing his current life to the loss of freedom he believes commitment will cost him, or because he is keeping a back door open. Either way, the cure is not to push him for a label. The cure is to live as if you have your own future already and let him notice he is being left behind.
What does an Aries man look for in a long-term partner?
An Aries man is not looking for a sidekick and he is not looking for a mirror. He is looking for a woman who has her own fire and her own life, and who can match his pace without competing with him. He needs to feel chosen, but he cannot stand being needed in a way that makes him feel responsible for your happiness. That tension is the whole game with an Aries.
The women who keep him long term tend to share three things. They have a strong identity outside the relationship, so he never feels like he is the entire show. They are direct communicators who do not wrap their feelings in hints, because Aries men cannot decode hints and will check out emotionally if they have to guess. And they bring physical and creative energy into the relationship, because intimacy and play are non-negotiable to a Mars-ruled man.
If you can give him those three things while also keeping a part of your life he does not get to see, you become magnetic to him in a way no chase will ever produce. He sees a woman he could lose, and Aries men do not commit to anything they believe will always be available.
How do you know if an Aries man is just stringing you along?
The clearest tell is the gap between his words and the calendar. An Aries man who is serious will tell you he wants to see you and then immediately put it on the schedule, often within the same conversation. An Aries man who is stringing you along will tell you he wants to see you in vague, future-tense language, and then never offer a concrete day, time, or plan.
The second tell is who you have met. After two or three months, a serious Aries man will have brought you into at least one corner of his real life, a friend, a sibling, a coworker. A stringing-along Aries will keep you in a sealed bubble, because the moment you meet his people, his options narrow.
The third tell is how he handles your absence. A committed Aries reaches out when you go quiet, because Mars cannot stand the feeling of being out of contact with something that matters to him. A non-committed Aries will let your silence sit for days. He is comfortable letting you fade, which means in his head, you are not yet locked in.
Can an Aries man be faithful in a long-term relationship?
Yes, absolutely, and the women who tell me otherwise are usually describing an Aries man who never moved past the chase phase with them in the first place. An Aries who has actually committed becomes one of the most loyal partners in the zodiac, because Mars rules loyalty as much as it rules conquest. Once he has chosen, the same intensity that made him pursue you now goes into protecting the relationship he built.
The faithful Aries man does not flirt openly with other women in front of you, does not keep ex contact alive on the side, and does not need outside validation to feel like a man, because you give him that at home. The unfaithful Aries is almost always the Aries who never crossed the internal line into commitment, even if he said the words on the surface.
If you want a clean read on where your Aries actually stands, watch what he does in the small windows. Faithful Aries men shut down ambiguity quickly. They will tell another woman they are taken, they will close a flirty conversation before it grows, and they will tell you about it after, because Mars-ruled honesty kicks in once he has decided you are his.
What makes an Aries man stay for the long term?
Two things keep an Aries man for the long term, and both are non-negotiable. The first is that you stay a woman he is still slightly working to win. The Aries man who feels he has fully captured a woman, with no more challenge, no more spark, no more growth on her side, will get restless. He does not need you to play games. He needs you to keep building yourself, because he wants to be with someone whose future is in motion.
The second is that you keep the physical and emotional bond charged. Mars-ruled men anchor themselves through touch, eye contact, and intimacy more than through words. The Aries men who stay for decades describe wives and partners who never let the physical thread go cold, even through the hardest seasons of life. That does not mean constant performance. It means a wife who still kisses him hello like she means it, who still locks eyes with him across a room, who still wants him as a man.
Get those two things right, and you will not have to ask whether he sees a future with you. He will be the one building it.
For a deeper look at what life with a committed Aries actually looks like once he has chosen you, you may also want to read my guide on essential knowledge for any woman married or engaged to an Aries man, and the deeper map of his attachment style in 5 signs an Aries man is serious about you.
If you want the exact daily plan to take an Aries man from the future-talk stage into a real, settled, committed life with you, my Aries Man 30 Day Love Challenge walks you through one simple move per day that softens his Mars edges and pulls him into the calm, claimed, committed version of himself you are looking for.
Are you dating an Aries man? What makes you think that this one is the real deal? You got to let us know down below in the comments!
If you need to get all of the dirty details on your Aries man (I know you do!) then check out my book Aries Man Secrets to find out just what you’ve gotten yourself into! You can find it here.
And if you feel like you need some private guidance on your relationship, I’ve still got a few spots open for my ‘VIP Consultation’ service that you can book here to get instant clarity and guidance. You can book your private consultation here.
Wishing you all the luck in the Universe,
Anna Kovach
Yes I think my Aries man is the one for me but at the moment he has alot on his plate an is confused for me I think he is a bit scared of commitment only because he’s lost a ex partner she had cancer an I think he still blames himself for her death but when me an him do get together it’s like we can’t bear been away from one another he’s not very truth for he’s trying to get out of a toxic relationship he’s a player but under all that I see something more deeper an that’s what draws us together we have a connection that even I can’t explain
Hi Nan!
Please be careful with yourself sweetheart. If he was in a toxic relationship then this can carry over and cause destruction for him with other relationships. He might not be able to take love seriously until he unburdens himself and heals first. You keep taking care of yourself so you stay healthy yourself. I wish you all the best!